Are you just an ordinary nice guy or a “people pleaser”?
And what´s the difference really?
We all want to be nice guys, right?
Nothing peculiar with that. We were taught from day one, to act nicely to get……….yes, to get what?
I call it a survival strategy. As children, we obvisously to act well to get love (and food) from our parents (or the one being our caretakers).
Being loved is a human need. Babies who don´t get touched, die! They like dry out and die.
Fact of the matter is, the learning to behave, act nicely and please others, comes with the mothers milk.
The “People Pleaser” – Smile
Early on, we were told to smile. Look our best. Act nicely (even if we felt horrible inside) and respect the adults.
Even if we were badly treated, we know it wouldn´t really do us any good by acting “up” or telling how we felt (god forbid we´d strike back).
Consequently we soon lost that “gut” feeling of what we felt and who we were.
The easiest way is to conform and do what we´re told.
Pretty soon we believe that by being a people pleaser, we´ll go far.
Surely we all recognize some of that. We girls probably more than you boys.
Curtsy Or Fight Back
I remember how my mum would kick the hollow of my knees so that I wouldn´t forget to curtsy. How I hated it, but didn´t see any choice but to act the way I was expected to (a “people pleaser” already).
In a girls world it´s a lot less accepted to fight back (of course I did sometimes). No training in fighting back. By fist or by mouth.
I could envy the boys for that. Boys hit and move on. Girls cry and dwell.
As long as I can remember I wanted to be a boy.
Attraction Marketing – True Or False?
Learning to act well, to care for others and knowing the power of SMILE has it´s advantages. Don´t get me wrong. There are two sides also to this coin.
Today I´m often grateful to my mother for teaching me to smile. With age and experience, I see the good things in life that a smile has given me, along with a sadness that I don´t always know who I am or what I want.
What I do know (most of the time) is what others want. Wich is not only bad.
This brings us to the branding of ourselves on the internet. Attraction Marketing. You as a brand. People love to buy but they don´t want to be sold. The art of attracting them.
Tricky part is to know what your brand is. Your passion. Your “You Inc.“ Especially if you´re a “people pleaser”. To find what´s absolutely true for you. If you´re being “false”, people will feel it and go elsewhere.
Personality + Experience = Uniqueness
Find out who you are and find your talent. We all have something that we´re good at. This is our uniqueness.
Embrace yourself and your talent. Stop looking on the outside. Look inside for that unique YOU that will attract others. It´s already within, you just have to bring it out. That unique you that will lead and empower others.
In leading others, it´s impossible to be a “people pleaser”. If you constantly need approval, you´ll end up being controlled by those you´re supposed to lead.
More, a “people pleaser” will not be telling the truth most of the time. He will say what he thinks people want to hear. When I first heard that, I twisted it back and forth. And yes, I see the point. If I can´t be truthful, say and do what I think is right, I will not be telling the truth.
The Power Of Leadership
Teach and lead others. Correct and advice. This is your role as a leader. Here it becomes crystal clear how a “people pleaser” is not going to be successful.
There are always people that won´t agree with you and that´s their problem, unless you allow it to become yours.
Deal with disappointment and keep a good attitude. A mature leader faces the music even when he doesn´t like the tune. If you always get your way, you´re getting nowhere.
Find out who you are, your purpose and be yourself.
Don´t Sabotage Your Online Success – Be Brave And Let Go
Marketing online as we all know, is a branding game. An area of your life where a “people pleaser” mentality will sabotage for you.
Rather bring out your uniqueness and say what you think. Be brave, be you and benefit from the results you´re going to get.
Show your passion and stick out. Everyone wants a true leader. Someone they know, like and trust.
Soon they´ll all be in your “Fan Club”!
All Roads Lead To The Empower Network
David Wood is the perfect example of an absolute unique leader. He´s crazy and talkes the fastest I´ve ever heard anyone talk. He´s also known as “the guy without a shirt” (on his website, there´s a picture of him by the pool….).
He knows his talent, his uniqueness and purpose. He knows where he´s going and if anyone has opinions about that, he´ll nicely point them in another direction.
It does have the effect that you feel as if you know him, you like him instantly (I fell in “love” anyway) and you trust every word that comes out of his mouth.
Fascinating thing really.
Now, the Empower Network is a marketing company that got about 13000 people to start blogging in just a couple of months.
None of what would have happened if the leader had been a “people pleaser”.
Blog – Tell Others – Make Money
For $25/month you can part of this unique group people with a crazy leader and have your own blog.
Write about everything you´re passionate about, tell others and make money!
Be brave, take the risk, (don´t be a “people pleaser”) click the banner and only God knows where you´ll end up!